Thursday, March 1, 2018

Long Battle

So I guess my long battle with fighting for disability has finally come to a close. I won my case and I’m getting paid. It’s a little surreal. Nothing compared to my salary, but it’s money coming in. 
I’ve worked since I was 15- technically 14 but, that was only babysitting. My first real job was at 15. I’ve worked ever since. I had no choice, because when I was a kid things were different. Sometimes I liked to eat food and there wasn’t any at home. I also wanted a car and I had to buy it. With a car come little ups and downs along with insurance and gas. Luckily my grandparents helped me with the insurance. They were the ones I could count on. 
After I got married and divorced. I put myself through college. Associates and Bachelors paid for,  but I couldn’t afford the tuition for a Masters degree. So, I did what I shouldn’t have done and took out student loans, but only enough for tuition. 
I got married again and that hasn’t turned out so great either. But when I was diagnosed with MS I became an “unlovable” wife. I’m flawed now because I have this disease that won’t go away. That’s because he chooses that. 
So fast forward to last night. I’m trying to pay a few things and he’s telling me what I should do with my money. Oh and my favorite “ I’ll jack it all up.” So let me get this straight I’m going to mess something up? You’ve never paid one bill since we’ve been married the last 15 years  and probably wouldn’t know how to. Oh, but I’m going to jack it all up??? Yeah right. Bite my ass. 
Another of my favorites. “What you’re being paid is a piss in the bucket . You could be out there making 4 times as much.” Did I miss the part somewhere that I got really sick and had to quit my job due to ms and a spinal injury? Oh and  apparently I don’t like myself as well. 
Just watching him talk is exhausting. I had to walk away. It is mentally draining, I just can’t do it. You know when there’s a little knat in your ear and it won’t stop. That’s him. Mr. Narcissist. He’s a real winner. 

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